How not to get a job at wieden + Kennedy (3)

Following  last week's job applications from the mad bomber and the orange and banana boy, here's another gem:

To: Natalie Field

Subject: RE: I am applicant

Dear Mrs Natalie,

I presume you are well. That makes me feel happy for you.

I sent you my application on Friday today is Monday morning and I’m waiting for responsiveness. It hasn’t come. This is a shame. I wish to make my purpose fully clear to your business and so write you again.

There is no time to waste! Waste is folly. Waiting is pain. I have pain.

If there is a requirement for further explanations, please to not wait to contact myself.

My pencil is sharp.

Warmness,

(Name deleted.)

Genius. Sorry about that pain you have, Applicant.