How not to get a job at wieden + Kennedy (3)

Following  last week's job applications from the mad bomber and the orange and banana boy, here's another gem:

To: Natalie Field

Subject: RE: I am applicant

Dear Mrs Natalie,

I presume you are well. That makes me feel happy for you.

I sent you my application on Friday today is Monday morning and I’m waiting for responsiveness. It hasn’t come. This is a shame. I wish to make my purpose fully clear to your business and so write you again.

There is no time to waste! Waste is folly. Waiting is pain. I have pain.

If there is a requirement for further explanations, please to not wait to contact myself.

My pencil is sharp.

Warmness,

(Name deleted.)

Genius. Sorry about that pain you have, Applicant.

Comments

[Sacrum B. Rown]

Dear Mrs Field,

you maybe not get my application after all by email systems. But I very happy that you think of application as of genius! Pain no gone. I send here first application in comments if better, yes? Yes!

[hoston]

How to Get a job in WK?
How Natalie Looks like?
Why People want to work in WK?
Is that embrace failure, motto applies for these guys with the unusal job apps.?
Why to get a job in advertising should be so hard?
Why the summer is 3 Monts away?
Why do i always forget MAY?

Nice Blog, Agency ,People, Offices, Work, Culture....

[Stan Lee]

Who'd have thought that Borat would want to work at W&K? Obviously he's after some sexy time with the lovely Natalie.

[Luca Vergano]

Guys this is seriously genius. Where do you get all this applications?
Are you sure you didn't offended somebody at Adecco or some agency like that?

[L.Vazquez]

This stuff is gold. I'm taking notes.

[Sacrum B. Rown]

Hallo.

I find my plug for my excellent computer and can now post original application for your review. Email systems are bad yes? Yes! Here is:
------------------------------
Dear Mrs Natalie,

How are you so? I hear not well, because you lost your Yakult account to us Europeans maybe, yes? That is bad. A shame. I’m sorry. But it wasn’t my fault.

I should let you know that I have been following your business with keen interest over the last couple of days, and feel that I should help you out a little. With your advertising activity.

What do you need? I have it. When do you need it? I’ve got it. Why do you need it? It’s important.

I know secret cognitive things about selected products that remain hidden to the normal mind of people. This must be shared! At all costs! And I am groovy in a funky agency. All my friends tell that it is so. And be it must, yes? Yes!

I wait for your call with eagerness of wild-thing to discuss matters such and payments, office and blackberry devices. I have my own pencils.

I am impatient.

My warmness,
Sacrum B. Rrown.

p.s. My hobbies include reading, writing and maths.
--------------------------------

Now you have it. I am available for conviency meeting Tuesday or Wednesday maybe.

Warmness,
Sacrum

[Sacrum B. Rown]

Hallo.

I find my plug for my excellent computer and can now post original application for your review. Email systems are bad yes? Yes! Here is:
------------------------------
Dear Mrs Natalie,

How are you so? I hear not well, because you lost your Yakult account to us Europeans maybe, yes? That is bad. A shame. I’m sorry. But it wasn’t my fault.

I should let you know that I have been following your business with keen interest over the last couple of days, and feel that I should help you out a little. With your advertising activity.

What do you need? I have it. When do you need it? I’ve got it. Why do you need it? It’s important.

I know secret cognitive things about selected products that remain hidden to the normal mind of people. This must be shared! At all costs! And I am groovy in a funky agency. All my friends tell that it is so. And be it must, yes? Yes!

I wait for your call with eagerness of wild-thing to discuss matters such and payments, office and blackberry devices. I have my own pencils.

I am impatient.

My warmness,
Sacrum B. Rrown.

p.s. My hobbies include reading, writing and maths.
--------------------------------

Now you have it. I am available for conviency meeting Tuesday or Wednesday maybe.

Warmness,
Sacrum

[neil]

Sacrum? "A bone resulting from the fusion of two or more vertebrae between the lumbar and the coccygeal regions, in humans being composed usually of five fused vertebrae and forming the posterior wall of the pelvis." More commonly referred to as 'Arse'. Ah, the benefits of a classical education. It was funny, though.
Warmness,

Neil

[Marcus Brown]

I'd have at least given him a look-see.

Warmness,
Marcus Brown

[kb]

how did his warmness kno natalie is mrs? is he stalking her? natalie better watch out :) he sounds serious. n he pretty bluntly claims his pencil is sharp.

i think u guys shud hire him. if nothing else he'll keep u guys entertained thru painful idealess days n snowy times. consider his salary a small price to pay for such original n high quality entertainment.

:) cheers n all da best to future applicants to this miserable but ecstatic business. (i am beginnin to get guys who r into s&m)

[Rob Mortimer]

He may not get a job, but I love this sentence:

There is no time to waste! Waste is folly. Waiting is pain. I have pain.

[hoston]

Neil?

I need a post about:

How to get a Job at WK... (i think you should also involve Natalie)

[kb]

agree with rob.

no time to waste
waste is folly!
waste is pain
i have pain.

it's almost poetry. deep, beyond our understanding. thoughts of someone we can barely begin to understand.

for all you kno, in 100 years time the reigning rock star wud be singing this n london philharmonic will be setting this to... whatever they set this kind of stuff to.

what we hav here is prob a totally misunderstood genius with pain that can be understood only by an advanced civilisation. this might even becom the anthem of the S&M association of the world.

b t way, what does MRS natalie has to say abt all dis?

:) here's to pain.

[Age]

Natalie may have the most interesting (read: worst) job at the agency having to put up with shite like that. hehehe, she does it incredibly well though!

[TomLR]

Brilliant. Macros - unless this is a serious attempt at moving we need to start sending more of these.

[alamelu]

If advertisers can do anything for people's attention, why can't job seekers do anything for potential bosses attention??

[neil]

Who ever said that advertisers can do "anything" to get people's attention? Not a point of view I can imagine that any marketing advisor would endorse.

[alamelu]

Oh yes, they do. If not "anything", its definitely something 'out of the box'.
A resume like this only shows the candidates whackiness and the ability to think 'out of the box'

If you receive 100 emails with the content of "hi I'm working in blah blah blah blah", and one of them has the content mentioned like the one you got, you are going to notice it right??
I say the guy does know how to grab attention.
....either ways...All the Best Sacrum!

[Gunnermountain]

Do the hire-ups at W+K let you go off watch the champions league? lol

[Marcus Brown]

Neil. Put an end to all of this.

[EugenS]

You might want to take a look at sacrum's blog. You might be surprised. I don't know if w+k would be the best choice of agency for his style, but nonetheless, I believe you should give him a chance. I haven't seen such a character in a while, and that usually means something.

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[Marcus]

The 12th of Feb was Sacrum's first birthday Neil... and we forget it.

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